Faking It

Because of my favourite artist, Sean Martindale's kind invitation, I got to be a part of his GSGS show at Art Gallery of Ontario gift shop. Remember those fine art prints you can purchase in art museums? It's like those, but Sean wanted the image is of the museum shop itself instead of a famous fine art. So here, ladies and gentlemen, I present you the empty display case of AGO gift shop. I dedicate this painting to Sean.

I originally sketched bunch of monsters twirling around the display case, but decided against it at the last minute. I could not work out the composition, and thought staying minimal worked better. Here are some details:

And my posters, boxes, cards and opera glasses at AGO gift shop display:

The show runs from January till April 1st. The hours are:

Tuesday 11:30am – 6pm
Wednesday 11:30am – 9pm
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday 11:30am – 6pm
Monday closed

Here are some images of my items for sale at AGO gift shop. Most are sold except few, I'm quite happy about that. Check them out at AGO gift shop before the show ends!

I have a confession to make: I have a very low self-esteem when it comes to my work, it's a constant battle. A lot of good things had been happening in my life but I had a bit of a dip a week ago. I was sinking in self-doubt for a couple of weeks. I felt like I do not deserve any of good things in life for I truly believe my work isn't good enough. I worried people would wonder, "why does she get xyz, she sucks!" I feel like such a fake sometimes, and I'm worried that you'd see through my fakeness. I'm worried that when that time comes, everything will crash down.

But illustration is commercial art, and I have to sell my work. I can't sell it properly if I don't believe in the product! Nobody will believe in me if I don't believe in myself. It's embarrassing for me everytime I post my work online and show to people. I envy people who have natural confidence. I tell myself that being unhappy with my work gives me a room to grow. And I'd like to think that many artists feel the same way about themselves. Whether these are true or not, I'm not sure.

While I rolling around, worrying about futile things, I got to see this documentary, 'Jiro Dreams of Sushi' at TIFF Lightbox last weekend. It was about a sushi master, Jiro. Although he's been making sushi all his life, he doesn't think he's sushi is perfect. He always thinks about improving sushi with passion. While watching hypnotic monotony of his graceful sushi making, I started to feel much better. I came out of the theatre, calm and content. Just keep working hard, and everything will be alright. Whatever happens, there is no point on worrying about things I have no control of.